Thursday, May 19, 2011

Mama's Day

Ok ok it's been a while..I know this! ANd i'm also super duper late on this blog, but oh well. It has to do with mothers day. Yes, of course I have to have a mother obviously she birthed me, and took care of me and loved me unconditionally for 13 years. I will cherish those years forever plus a day. My mom was my world and i was hers. We were on our own so we had to be each others cheerleaders in life. My world came crashing down on me in Oct. 2000 when my mom passed away. She was diagnosed with leukemia in July of 2000 was in remission by August 2000 and passed away in Oct. WOW! is right. my mom was a fighter all the way till the end. My mom was in remission from the leukemia so her oncologist (cancer doc) let her come home for 2 weeks to get me ready to begin my 8th grade year, but when she went back to the hospital things made a drastic turn around and tore my life upside down. Her doc still wanted her to get the bone marrow transplant just to be on the safe side, so my mom went through with it. Thats where things went down hill my mom was feeling great in the beginning she was walking, talking, laughing just how she always had. Side note: she was the most happy optimistic person i knew thats probably why i'm like that and don't take life for granted. Back to the regular scheduled program :) she suddenly started not being able to walk or talk anymore bc she developed blood blisters and the docs ordered a biopsy and the results didn't arrive until 2 weeks after my mom sudden death..little had anyone known my mom had gotten a staph infection during the transplant. :( the infection started attacking her body systems until her heart just wouldn't beat anymore. it was oct 3rd 2000 and i will forever remember the day for the rest of my life. it was the worst day. i felt it in my body that something wasn't right, but i did my thing at school and went to the yearbook staff meeting took the pictures i needed to take, took the after school activity bus home then was sitting down watching ZOOM lol i loved that show! then I saw my aunt and uncle (moms sis n bro) pull into my drive way and at that moment i knew my life was forever changed. My best friend, my mom, my hero, had passed away. and i was left in the world alone. well not alone, but alone. I have 7 brothers and sisters (combined) and i still have my dad around, but i had never lived with or grew up with them. All i had ever known was my mom and besides the majority of them live in morocco i have 1 older brother and 1 younger sister who live here in chicago. so my aunt took me under her wing and we've lived together ever since. but yea mothers day is such a day for me bc i no longer have my mom. maybe one day when i have my own kids it will be a happy day again, but until then  it will be just another day.

Sorry for bringing you down with my blog, but it's my life it's 100% real. My life is good I have just about everything I could ever want. I'm just missing the reason why I was created :) but I know she loves me and is watching out for me and always will. I know she knows I love her too. And that's whats really important she will forever be with me in my heart and mind. :) I love you mom!!

Bisous Bisous, The Rockin GerRoccan: Arkia

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